5th June 2009 @ 0315hrs - the day you left me and all your love ones. But I'm glad you left us peacefully. I thought I was dreaming but when I saw your lifeless body being carried into your pretty room something struck into my head, I was holding back my tears cos I wanna let you go without any hesitation. Sat next to your lifeless body, the moment I held your cheeks, I can no longer held those tears but to let it flow right through my eyes. I've never imagine myself touching a lifeless body but you're exceptional cos I never wanna miss any chance I had with you. All I could do was to kiss you and getting nothing in return. Before they covered you up, I didn't wanna miss another opportunity to give you my last kiss which I'll never be able to do so anymore. That was really really hard. Seeing you all the way to liang lahad wasn't easy either but I know you're in much better place. A place where we'll meet again, Insyallah.
Your latest post really mean alot to me.
Dec08 was a very hard mth for me...after what happen to me when the Doctor break the news to me..and after what happen between me and my ex-fiancee..
But this is life that i have to face...fall sick for 1mth never recover after iam hospitalisation after the Doctor break the news to me that i've have illness wish cannot be cure and fully dependable on medication till i die..as much as i dont want to think about it but sometime when iam alone i have to think of my future whats gonna happen to me..iam still young and i have to go tru this alone which i dont want and why must this be happening to me???why now..Sometime i just think that dont make me suffer like this just let me go and sometime i think that this is not the end of the world and i have to be strong!!in the 1st place am i strong???! Too much things on my mind...MY FUTURE,WORK,MOM,FAMILY...EVERYTHING!!!
Better stop thingking of this and i just want to stay healthy!
Anyway..to all my frens ESPECIALLY MY FAMILY(mom who have been worry sick bout me) MIN AND IZAN THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEED YOU GUYS..YOU GUYS SUPPORT ME ALL ALONG WHEN IAM SICK.NOTHING COULD REPAY ALL OF YOUR KINDNESS I DO APPRICIATE IT ALOT..IF EVER 1DAY IAM NO LONGER HERE IN THIS BEAUTIFUL WORLD JUST REMEMBER THAT I WILL ALWAYS PRAY FOR YOUR WELL BEING AND ALWAYS STAY HEALHTY.I DONT KNOW WHEN WILL I STILL BE ALIVE..THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING GUYS..
will update again ok....
and that was your last post....
Nursaidah Binte Sinwan
You'll be miss by me and all your love ones.
You'll never be forgotten.
I'll miss those night at Simpang, those bitching moment.
I'll miss "tu sebab lar aku sayang kau" phrase that will always came out from your mouth.
I'll miss you calling me bitch whenever I answer your call.
I'll miss your voice which I last heard was on the 11th May, you asking me what was my plan on that day.
I'm sorry that I didn't fulfill your wish to travel together, ride on the GMAX together.
I'm sorry if I've not done enough for this friendship of ours.
I've place you deep within me and you'll always be with me wherever I go.
5 years is a short period of time. I'm sorry for what I've done to you during our friendship.
I'll always love you babe, you're irreplaceable.
26th July 1987 - 5th June 2009
