Exactly a month ago, one of my bestestgirlfriend left me to be with Allah. I knew she has no more chance to live and even if she do she won't be able to live like an ordinary person. I once told Salam and Izan that it would be better if Allah take her away than let her suffer, I guess Allah heard me.

The moment Salam text me that her family decided to take the life support wire off her, my life went haywire. I wish I could just fly there and be there at that moment. When I got there, she was on her own fighting her life. Went in and out of her room, to make sure I have those last moment with her, to touch her cold feet and face....to just be with her. I just wish I could just hug her tight and never let her go.

5June2009, 0315hrs. She left in peace surrounded by her love ones. I wasn't able to make it on time. Izan called me as I missed a call from Saidah's sil. I was very reluctant to answer and I was very scared and all she could say was: Min......Saidah da takde...... Suprisingly I wasn't shocked neither was I crying. I let out a big sigh instead. I only burst out when I told love about it as I can no longer control my feeling.

5 years of friendship, there's alot more that I could have done for her but I did not. It a short period of time. I'm missing her like hell right now. Pictures are all that I'm left with to see when I miss her, she's right beside my bedside table, she's pasted on my pc at work, she's in my phone and most importantly she's deep in me. The 21st birthday card and bouquet of teddies was all I had from you to keep. Whenever I miss her voice, I'll watch a video when my sis did her tongue piercing and the only word that came from her was, "darah lar, abeh kau ingat ape?"

I know she's still around to see us from far. I think she's happy for me now, she detest all of my past but gave a good thumbs up when I was with Afiq, guess she knew that Afiq can take good care of me. I'm in good hand babe, don't worry about it ya.

It feels like it was just yesterday that we first had our lunch at Far East. Our get to know each other session. Sometimes I still do think that she's still in hospital fighting for her life and I could still remember when she broke the news about her illness via phone and let out a loud sigh and asked me, why must this happen to her? She sounded like you wanna give up but as days goes by and that she was discharge she seems stronger.

This is all fated right, her time was up and I'll never know if I'll be next right.

I thank Allah for letting me cross her path when she's still around. Letting me have sucha wonderful beautiful bestestgirlfriend that no one could ever have.

I lost one and I never wanna lost another 2. I cherish you both remember that.

I still can't believe I lost one of my precious friend.
I still can't believe its her that was wrapped with white pure cloth.
I still can't believe its her that they buried 7 feet under the ground.
I still can't believe she's gone forever.

Saidah, I'm missing you like crazy now and I'll always do.

Al-fateha.